where river meets the sea

And just like that, there is soul in everything I do.

I’ve always considered myself a soulful person putting my heart and soul in everything that I do.  But with my busy schedule, I sometimes miss out on the soulful part.

A few weeks ago, I was living my life.  Doing the things I love most and really loving all of it – work, family, friends, teaching, food preparation – the life!

So what is new?

There’s a man in my life.  I met him a few weeks ago and everything feels so right.  I was scared, who wouldn’t?  I’d been burned.  A thousand times.  I’d been broken.  I don’t know where this will lead – who does?  All I know is I like being with him.

I never planned his walking in my life.  As a matter of fact, I welcomed him hoping to get a new client.  But then flirting came, and then getting to know (we still are in that stage), holding hands, kissing, revealing one’s self, and maybe more.

For a woman who has been through a lot of heartaches, this man amazes me and I just want to dive deep into him.  It wasn’t magical like I have always pictured it to be.  It was simple.  Before I knew it, we were holding hands and I never held hands with anyone in a long time.

And while I resisted the kiss, when we finally did, it felt so right.  It felt so good.  It’s sweet.  His mouth is sweet.  I never had that kiss before.  And I just want to go on kissing him.  And maybe kiss no one else.  The pleasure of having him close to me is all so new, one I haven’t had before.  Easy.  Genuine.  Pleasing.  Passionate.  Right.  Natural.  Good.  Sweet.  Fun.  A breeze.

It’s not easy admitting this to myself.  That finally, I am allowing a man in my life.  But I had been ready.  I’d been prepared.  A few weeks before we met, I found myself cleaning my room, the kitchen, and the bathroom as if I was expecting someone.

Just today, I sent a message to an old friend telling him I am seeing someone and it feels good to feel good being with someone again and to reveal myself once more.  And I mean it.

I hardly know this man.  I have my insecurities still.  The future is unsure.  But I am not scared.  He could be another lesson.  Another of those with a due date and an ending.  But somehow, I do not see an ending for us.

And I thank the universe for smiling down on me.  Or us.

[Photos by NinaMaria Candelario]

Categories: Musings